Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of SmartassChef's best tweets

@SmartassChef : I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those "eat right and exercise" scams.

@SmartassChef: If drinking too much alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking too much Fanta make you fantastic?

@SmartassChef: Most of my one night stands happened because they knew they would get a fabulous breakfast the next morning.

@SmartassChef: Nothing freaks me out like when I'm ordering from a Chinese restaurant and I ask "What kind of meat is that?" and they answer "yes"

@SmartassChef: Is there such a thing as filthy clean? Let's take a shower together and find out.

@SmartassChef: Nothing freaks me out like trying to remember which brownies I packed in my son's lunch box