@SomthinBoutSara: I left my phone at home and had no idea what to do with my hands while I drove
@SomthinBoutSara: If you get a text from me that ends in a stream of emojis, my mother has stolen my phone DO NOT ENGAGE
@SomthinBoutSara: I've stepped on a Lego before so I'm calling bullshit on Godzilla and King Kong being that difficult to take down
@SomthinBoutSara: How do you end an argument with a woman?
Tell her to calm down.
You're dead now but the argument is over.
@SomthinBoutSara: Just watched a guy in a shirt that read "Jedi I am" trip on a curb and fall.
Jedi you are not sir
@SomthinBoutSara: I'm gonna pretend my dad didn't abandon me but is actually on the missing Malaysia air flight and he'll be back
@SomthinBoutSara: If you want me to save a horse and ride a cowboy, you better spare a tree and eat a beaver.