Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of SomthinBoutSara's best tweets

@SomthinBoutSara : You can now buy candy unwrapped and avoid any effort at all to eat it. USA! USA!

@SomthinBoutSara: I left my phone at home and had no idea what to do with my hands while I drove

@SomthinBoutSara: If you get a text from me that ends in a stream of emojis, my mother has stolen my phone DO NOT ENGAGE

@SomthinBoutSara: I've stepped on a Lego before so I'm calling bullshit on Godzilla and King Kong being that difficult to take down

@SomthinBoutSara: How do you end an argument with a woman?

Tell her to calm down.

You're dead now but the argument is over.

@SomthinBoutSara: Just watched a guy in a shirt that read "Jedi I am" trip on a curb and fall.

Jedi you are not sir

@SomthinBoutSara: I'm gonna pretend my dad didn't abandon me but is actually on the missing Malaysia air flight and he'll be back

@SomthinBoutSara: If you want me to save a horse and ride a cowboy, you better spare a tree and eat a beaver.

@SomthinBoutSara: My exes dying words were, "you're obviously in one of your moods"