Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of SonOfCha's best tweets

@SonOfCha : Girls adore it when you guess their weight as they walk by.

@SonOfCha: You know who DOES see something wrong with a little bump n' grind?

Trevor in human resources.

@SonOfCha: Went into a massage parlor & asked for the happy ending, now I'm tucked into bed with a Korean woman reading me Cinderella.

@SonOfCha: Last night a burglar broke into my house but I quickly popped open a bag of potato chips & hid in all that free space.

@SonOfCha: Throwing a surprise party for my girlfriend so just remember that on the count of three we all yell "SURPRISE YOU'RE ERIC'S GIRLFRIEND"

@SonOfCha: I saw a commercial on Animal Planet where animals were talking & that's all well & good but they totally got the giraffe's accent wrong.

@SonOfCha: I would be a terrible stalker because A) not motivated enough 7) you would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.

@SonOfCha: I call all dogs 'puppies', regardless of age. They like it.

@SonOfCha: The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you.

@SonOfCha: Nice tan. I'm guessing your mother is white & your father's a sweet potato?