Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!

Page of SoulYodeler's best tweets

@SoulYodeler : Omg I'm so thirsty- *Kool-Aid Man busts through wall* OH YEAHH *Sugar-free zero calorie Kool-Aid Man jiggles door handle* LITTLE HELP HERE

@SoulYodeler: I can see clearly now the rain has gone; I can *backs into mailbox* see all obstacles in my way *runs over squirrel* omg I love this song

@SoulYodeler: Goodnight moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon. Goodnight space cow preventing other cows from clearing the moon. Goodnight ketamine.

@SoulYodeler: The clowns I hire always seem surprised to find I'm the only party guest.

@SoulYodeler: When coining nicknames, be sure it reflects how that person has impacted your life. For example, my two sons Buzzkill and Third Mortgage.

@SoulYodeler: I just watched Bug's Life and cried the whole time I mowed the lawn.

@SoulYodeler: Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me, I won't say a word about your "wenital werpes" *winks*

@SoulYodeler: Walk into any flower shop and ask to see the chlamydias. That never gets old.

@SoulYodeler: Concussions are like pineapples: what was the question.

@SoulYodeler: HOT LOCAL SINGLES WANT TO MEET YOU SO THEIR FELONIOUS BOYFRIENDS CAN STEAL YOUR I-PHONE