Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of SteveKoehler22's best tweets

@SteveKoehler22 : Pro tip : If you get a dog, name him “Five Miles” Then you can brag that you walk Five Miles every day.

@SteveKoehler22: Canadian cattle can now legally
graze on cannabis plants.

The steaks have never been higher.

@SteveKoehler22: Just opened a collision repair
shop called “Auto Correct.”

@SteveKoehler22: My mother always cooked with wine
while I was growing up back home.

Occasionally she would even add
some to whatever she was cooking.

@SteveKoehler22: Costco ....

Because you never know when your
aquarium could explode ....

and you really need those 96 rolls
of paper towels.

@SteveKoehler22: Just saved a guy from drowning by
throwing him a CVS receipt as a lifeline.

He also gets 25% off his next rescue.

@SteveKoehler22: No Karen; a stable relationship is not
when you move in with the horses.

@SteveKoehler22: No Karen, you can't return your
eclipse glasses tomorrow and
claim they "didn't fit."

@SteveKoehler22: My wife handed me a paring
knife to slice some peaches.

Apparently we don’t have
a peaching knife.

@SteveKoehler22: A surge of capital into the Canadian
marijuana industry has stocks soaring.

Marijuana stock prices have now
reached a new ...um ...high.