Funny Tweeter

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Page of SteveKoehler22's best tweets

@SteveKoehler22 : I got fired from my job as a diesel fitter in a panties factory. We would hold the panties up, inspect them and say "Dese'll fit her"

@SteveKoehler22: Parents who have allowed your
8 yr olds to become spoiled brats ...

We'll check back in 10 years to see
how that worked out for you.

@SteveKoehler22: ( spelling bee )

Your word is "passive-aggressive"

"Can you use it in a sentence?"

Sure, kid.
I'll hold up the contest just for you.

@SteveKoehler22: Remember that it's "i before e" ...

Except when feigning a heist on a
weird, feisty, beige foreign neighbor.

@SteveKoehler22: When you stop being a vegan -
is it called losing your veganity ?

@SteveKoehler22: Research found happiness
peaks at ages 23 and 65.

Age 23 ~ excited to enter the work force
Age 65 ~ relief at leaving the work force.

@SteveKoehler22: As the horse fell to the barn floor,
he quickly pressed his Life Alert ...

"Help...I've fallen and I can't giddyup !"

@SteveKoehler22: Top five movies that could
easily have been about @ 'ers :

-Alien
-Psycho
-Raging Bull
-Close Encounters
-One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

@SteveKoehler22: Just changed the GPS voice
in my car from male to female.

Now if I miss a turn, she says ....
"( Sigh )....recalculating"

@SteveKoehler22: When your wife asks you to dig
a hole for her shrub-

She'll feel threatened if you make
it large enough to hold a body.

I know this now.