Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of SteveKoehler22's best tweets

@SteveKoehler22 : Be carefully which minty aromatic plants you accidentally step on. Thyme wounds all heels.

@SteveKoehler22: My wife told me we had a Lent calendar.
So I asked her when we had to return it.

@SteveKoehler22: I went to school with a girl named
Nonstick CookingSpray

We tried calling her Pam ...
but it didn’t stick.

@SteveKoehler22: You can tell a lot about a person
by his hot dog stand order

I knew the guy was a Buddhist when
he said "Make me one with everything"

@SteveKoehler22: The age-old question ....
Are we alone ?

Of course we're not.

There are 320 million other
idiots on Twitter besides us.

@SteveKoehler22: I got fired from my job as a diesel
fitter in a panties factory.

We would hold the panties up,
inspect them and say "Dese'll fit her"

@SteveKoehler22: Parents who have allowed your
8 yr olds to become spoiled brats ...

We'll check back in 10 years to see
how that worked out for you.

@SteveKoehler22: ( spelling bee )

Your word is "passive-aggressive"

"Can you use it in a sentence?"

Sure, kid.
I'll hold up the contest just for you.

@SteveKoehler22: Remember that it's "i before e" ...

Except when feigning a heist on a
weird, feisty, beige foreign neighbor.

@SteveKoehler22: When you stop being a vegan -
is it called losing your veganity ?