@THEDUTHCHESS: Day 1 of being kidnapped.
Kidnappers are now offering my husband a ransom to take me back.
Husband is asking for more money.
@THEDUTHCHESS: A poster with a mugshot saying "Have you seen this man"
So I rang up and said No.
You have to do your bit for society .
@THEDUTHCHESS: My ex husbands Voicemail was a trick one where he'd say "Hello Hello, so you think he'd answered and that's why he's dead.
@THEDUTHCHESS: Woke up last night and the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was standing over my bed. At first I was afraid, i was petrified.
@THEDUTHCHESS: Logged into FB told Gemma her wedding pics are beautiful.
Logged into Twitter to tell you she looked like a fat man in drag and I hate her.