@T_Bonezzz_: [Gets Pulled Over]
Cop: Have u been drinking?
Me: No osiffer
C: What did u call me?
M: I mean orifice
M: ...office chair?
C: Get out
@T_Bonezzz_: With the passing of Hugh Hefner, we must now turn the page on an American icon.
*Pages stick together
@T_Bonezzz_: [ First Date ]
Her: OMG, I've been talking about myself all night. Tell me a little bit about yourself..
@T_Bonezzz_: Me: Waking up in the morning is so difficult
Bacon: Here, lemme help you with that