Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Tbone7219's best tweets

@Tbone7219 : I like to reassure my girlfriend that even though I don't have big muscles she is always safe with me cause I'm a really loud screamer.

@Tbone7219: On tonight's episode of Catfish, Cathy finds out she’s been in an online relationship with a pineapple.

@Tbone7219: Nobody runs faster than a 4 year old holding your iPhone.

@Tbone7219: My favorite part about Black Friday is the part where I go to the mall, find a great parking spot & sit in my car with the reverse lights on

@Tbone7219: Tweets a cocaine joke gets 120 favorites & a trophy

Post a cocaine joke on Facebook & gets 170 "we are praying for you" & an intervention.

@Tbone7219: Thanks for the 27 hashtags describing your pic otherwise I would have never known it's a hamburger

@Tbone7219: Just took my girlfriend to the movies and now I'm $10,000 in debt.

@Tbone7219: I threw up in a porta potty at a Winger concert back in 88' .... We did not have the internet back then so I'm telling you now.

@Tbone7219: Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth.

@Tbone7219: According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me.