Funny Tweeter

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Page of TedInModeration's best tweets

@TedInModeration : Dude on the street corner was like $5 for a sandwich? And he didn't even have a sandwich is why I have trust issues

@TedInModeration: Rips off my shirt to reveal an S on my chest that's actually remnants of last nights spaghettiO's

@TedInModeration: Me: will you have my baby?
Her: omg yes!
Me: * hands her a baby...
* runs...