Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”
Moan louder every time the cashier scans one of your items.
How come in movies, all vampires hang out at techno/electro clubs? You never see a vampire country bar. I want to see vampire line dancing.
I stood here for an hour then I gave up and went home.
Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).
ChatGPT cannot be stopped.
I feel it
I just gave my cat his lunch and insulin. He is now happily digesting and insulating.
I feel it
(car dealership)
Me: Cargo room?
Salesman: No, car go outside
Otters drive ottermobiles.
Just for fun, I think I’ll get fitted for a casket and just use it as a coffee table until the big day comes.
Him: What the hell is a palindrome?
Me: No, it’s not
What kind of therapist does a cat see?
A pspspsychologist
A guy walks into a bear and orders a drink. He didn’t notice my typo. Anyway, he’s dead now.