Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of TheBlessMess's best tweets

@TheBlessMess : Dear Coworker, If I'm nodding my head & smiling at everything you've said, this means I'm fantasizing about getting banged by David Beckham.

@TheBlessMess: The best part of being an adult is eating whatever you want. I just ate a small man that pissed me off at the liquor store.

@TheBlessMess: Hoping to get "till death do us part" reduced to a 15 year sentence and time served.

@TheBlessMess: My gang hand signals look a lot like the finger in the hole motion, followed by the call me gesture.

@TheBlessMess: My roadside emergency kit is a black wig, a disco ball and a bottle of vodka. Might as well have fun while I wait to be murdered.