Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of TheCatWhisprer's best tweets

@TheCatWhisprer : Babies are okay if you're into alarm clocks that poop.

@TheCatWhisprer: If you thought you had a rough night, my toddler couldn't wear an oven mitt to bed.

@TheCatWhisprer: My toddler is pretty particular about the brand of chicken nuggets I offer her for somebody who just ate a crayon.

@TheCatWhisprer: I could never be a starving artist because the first time I got hungry I'd be like that's enough art.

@TheCatWhisprer: The only thing I do to get my body ready for summer is make sure my AC is serviced.

@TheCatWhisprer: ME [as a kid]: i won't be a grumpy old man

ME [now]: *gets mad at a car for being orange*

@TheCatWhisprer: The scene in Rocky where he breaks open raw eggs and drinks them but me breaking open Cadbury eggs into a glass of chocolate milk.

@TheCatWhisprer: My toddler just threw her teddy bear out of her crib like she works for United Airlines.

@TheCatWhisprer: They say you shouldn't eat right before bed so now I just wait until I'm in bed.

@TheCatWhisprer: Goodnight moon
Goodnight room
Goodnight wifi connected devices
Goodnight CIA