@TheCatWhisprer: Curling seems like the kind of game Mr. Miyagi would’ve made up to trick Daniel into cleaning his floors.
@TheCatWhisprer: WIFE: so what do you want for christmas?
ME: [thinking about a bed made out of lasagna and instead of kicking off the sheets at night i eat a layer of noodles] oh probably some tools
@TheCatWhisprer: I don't think the Care Bears get enough street cred for shaving their stomachs & tattooing them with happy things.
@TheCatWhisprer: There should be an Uber for somebody to come over and wrap all your presents.
@TheCatWhisprer: I own a lot of Nike shirts for a guy who just bought a movie on iTunes so he wouldn’t have to get up and get the DVD from the other room.
@TheCatWhisprer: It’s always good to tell people to “stay safe” during a distaster just in case they didn’t know.
@TheCatWhisprer: I hate how websites force you to prove you’re not a robot by making you solve some puzzle only a robot could solve.
@TheCatWhisprer: Rachel Ray now makes cat food with real beef just like the cows my cat would eat in the wild.