Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of TheCatWhisprer's best tweets

@TheCatWhisprer : I wonder if pigs ever laugh so hard they say words.

@TheCatWhisprer: Telling my toddler not to chase the cat around with her nunchucks is easily the coolest thing I've ever said as a dad or a human.

@TheCatWhisprer: [trying to stop my toddler's tantrum in a restaurant]
*harsh whisper* If you don't cut it out right now then there's nothing else I can do

@TheCatWhisprer: STUNTMAN ON TV: don't try this at home

ME [sitting on couch eating out of a 5 lb. bag of m&ms]: ok

@TheCatWhisprer: Just enjoy the pool, I don't need to see a picture of your feet by it.

@TheCatWhisprer: If you thought you had a rough night, my toddler couldn't wear an oven mitt to bed.

@TheCatWhisprer: My toddler is pretty particular about the brand of chicken nuggets I offer her for somebody who just ate a crayon.

@TheCatWhisprer: I could never be a starving artist because the first time I got hungry I'd be like that's enough art.

@TheCatWhisprer: The only thing I do to get my body ready for summer is make sure my AC is serviced.