Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of TheDeadfishSays's best tweets

@TheDeadfishSays : Me: For who the bell tolls... Teacher: You forgot the 'M'. Me:Oh... Me: Me: For who them bells toll...

@TheDeadfishSays: The most frustrating thing I've ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.

@TheDeadfishSays: "I don't want to make a spectacle..."

Eye glass manufacturers last day on the job.

@TheDeadfishSays: I sit in the corner eating my tortillas completely confused by this salsa class.

@TheDeadfishSays: "Everything the light touches is ours," I tell my son while opening the fridge.