Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of TheGoodGodAbove's best tweets

@TheGoodGodAbove : To anyone who will be spending their Valentines Day with their hand, know that you are not alone. I will be there with you, watching.

@TheGoodGodAbove: Stephen Fry is being investigated for blasphemous comments.

Stephen Colbert is being investigated for a joke.


@TheGoodGodAbove: The only way Congress will ever pass common sense gun control is if they're threatened at gunpoint

@TheGoodGodAbove: Congrats to #LeonardoDiCaprio on his first Best Actor Oscar.

You can stop sacrificing goats now.

@TheGoodGodAbove: It’s 100% legal to give cops the finger. But remember, it’s also apparently 100% legal for them to shoot and kill you.

@TheGoodGodAbove: I heard that #TheDress debate has already destroyed 18 relationships. These people probably shouldn't be breeding anyway.

@TheGoodGodAbove: Sorry for letting bad things happen to good people all these years.