@ThePocketJustin: Draw attention to your older tweets by being arrested on suspicion of multiple murders.
@ThePocketJustin: As a fan of Dirty Dancing I can only hope that when we go on holiday one of my daughters sleeps with a middle aged dance instructor.
@ThePocketJustin: My phone case doesn't expose the logo on the back. So it could be anything. I could be speaking on two mirrors with foam in the middle.
@ThePocketJustin: Sheryl Crow: This ain't no disco. This ain't no country club either.
Sheryl Crow - The world's worst archaeologist.
@ThePocketJustin: Soon a hero will rise. Then he will fall again. Then he will rise and also fall. Wait. The hero is on a trampoline.
@ThePocketJustin: If you pretend you're skimming you can straight up throw rocks at people.
@ThePocketJustin: The FBI's terrorist hotline is not a place to chat with hot terrorists. I know that now.
@ThePocketJustin: Don't you hate it when you misjudge a moment of silence and lean in for a kiss.
Worst police interrogation ever.