Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of TheSchnizzy's best tweets

@TheSchnizzy : Wife: you're so damn forgetful! M: oh nonsense! W: ok, did you get the cat food? M: WE HAVE A CAT??

@TheSchnizzy: Yesterday I extinguished a colleague's cigarette at the office with a water pistol.

Adds firefighter to resume