Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of TheWeirdWorld's best tweets

@TheWeirdWorld : Ironing boards are just surf boards that stopped pursuing their dreams and got a real job instead.

@TheWeirdWorld: Teachers: You can’t write an essay in a night. Exam: Write an essay in two hours.

@TheWeirdWorld: How do the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have 6-pack abs? They can’t do sit-ups.

@TheWeirdWorld: The biggest joke of Spongebob is that he can work in a fast food restaurant and still afford to buy a house.

@TheWeirdWorld: I wonder how many medieval chefs were executed because the king’s food taster had food allergies

@TheWeirdWorld: A zombie apocalypse sounds even worse when you consider all those smoke detectors beeping for battery changes.

@TheWeirdWorld: If a vampire gets AIDS from one of its victims, is it considered an STD or food poisoning?

@TheWeirdWorld: I have never seen a construction crane being put in place. They just show up.

@TheWeirdWorld: With a dog, you have a glimpse into parenting. With a cat, you have a glimpse into marriage.

@TheWeirdWorld: Someday future archaeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think it was some bizarre mouse-worshiping kingdom.