Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of TheWeirdWorld's best tweets

@TheWeirdWorld : The biggest joke of Spongebob is that he can work in a fast food restaurant and still afford to buy a house.

@TheWeirdWorld: I wonder how many medieval chefs were executed because the king’s food taster had food allergies

@TheWeirdWorld: A zombie apocalypse sounds even worse when you consider all those smoke detectors beeping for battery changes.

@TheWeirdWorld: If a vampire gets AIDS from one of its victims, is it considered an STD or food poisoning?

@TheWeirdWorld: I have never seen a construction crane being put in place. They just show up.

@TheWeirdWorld: With a dog, you have a glimpse into parenting. With a cat, you have a glimpse into marriage.

@TheWeirdWorld: Someday future archaeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think it was some bizarre mouse-worshiping kingdom.

@TheWeirdWorld: What if dogs are way smarter than we think and they just play dumb so they don’t have to work and pay taxes.

@TheWeirdWorld: One day an iPhone is going to explode, and Android people are going to be like, “Samsung has had this feature for years”.

@TheWeirdWorld: If you attempt to rob a bank you won’t have any trouble with rent/food bills for the next 10 years whether you are successful or not.