Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of The_MartiniGirl's best tweets

@The_MartiniGirl : When I said I liked you..I never meant every day.

@The_MartiniGirl: I love when people tell me to get my act together and I'm like who the hell is acting geez.

@The_MartiniGirl: Charm me with your intelligence or just wait till I'm really drunk.

@The_MartiniGirl: I really was gonna jog at the park today....but I just found an empty park bench so I'll just have a few smokes and cheer the joggers on.

@The_MartiniGirl: Yes I am that gift that keeps on giving most people the finger.

@The_MartiniGirl: Getting caught under your desk and coming up with nothing in your hand is always so hard to explain.

@The_MartiniGirl: Find someone to make you laugh everyday and if that doesn't work find alcohol like I did.

@The_MartiniGirl: Pretty sure I just did some classical ballet move as I got off the computer chair to get to the kitchen and saw a spider on my floor.