@ThisOneSayz: I gotta say, I've never been in an Uber with red and blue lights!
Also, I don't remember calling for one...
@ThisOneSayz: The person who named the eggplant must have been:
a) Colorblind, and
b) Totally high
@ThisOneSayz: Me: It's unrealistic that the Angels blindly trusted Charlie's voice coming through a speaker, amirite?
Siri: I'm not sure I understand
@ThisOneSayz: The Revenant bear attack scene only it's me trying to get out of volunteering at my kid's school.
@ThisOneSayz: Unlike in Westworld, "freeze all motor functions" does not stop my 3yo from trying to wash my phone in the toilet.
@ThisOneSayz: Easter egg hunts are fun but, some kids always get their eggs stolen by others. Also, I'm not allowed on the field this year.
@ThisOneSayz: *picks up frog*
Frog: you know I'm poisonous, right?
Me: oh thank god.
@ThisOneSayz: Me: want a grilled cheese?
6yo: no. How about a cheeseburger without the meat.
Me: you got it.