@TommyKarate: Forgot to open the door before applying hand lotion so now I'm stuck in my restroom forever.
@TommyKarate: I hate it when I get my days mixed up and I accidentally take my stupid wife out instead of my girlfriend.
@TommyKarate: Thank you for calling. To speak with a human being, please hang up and travel back to the early 1990's.
@TommyKarate: I'm no genius but I'm pretty sure Mexicans with anxiety have Hispanic attacks.
@TommyKarate: Local video store is offering a chance to win free iPads, so naturally, I reported them as spam.