Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of TrueTorontoGirl's best tweets

@TrueTorontoGirl : [First date] Him: What's your favorite dish? Me: The one that holds the most food.

@TrueTorontoGirl: Employee: You know what's neat?
Me: Whiskey in a glass without ice?

@TrueTorontoGirl: Never end a tweet with a question mark. People will talk to you.

@TrueTorontoGirl: Brain: We've got lots to do today.
Body: You're on your own buddy.

@TrueTorontoGirl: Cop: Have you been drinking or are you on any drugs?
Me: Whoa, one question at a time, dude.

@TrueTorontoGirl: Him: Do you want to run away with me?
Me: We won't actually be running, right?