Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of TweetingDadGuy's best tweets

@TweetingDadGuy : Started to feel bad about my life but just saw a bumper sticker that said "I Love My Grand-dog" and I think l'm going to be ok.

@TweetingDadGuy: Winter is great because it gets dark earlier and you can get a head start on your shady activities.

@TweetingDadGuy: Wild horses could definitely drag me away. Tame horses could too. A slightly muscular hamster probably could drag me away at this point.

@TweetingDadGuy: Live tweeting from Sunday Mass!

We're sitting.

Now standing.

Sitting.

Sorry, should've been kneeling.

Shit, that was embarrassing.

@TweetingDadGuy: Please women who wear 1 inch heels.

What's the point? You look ridiculous.

What difference does 1 inch really make?

Don't answer that.

@TweetingDadGuy: When my daughter gets older, she will have a camera phone OR a mirror. Not both. Thanks for the advice Twitter.