@UnFitz: The first rule of Swim Club is don’t talk about Swim Club for at least 30 minutes after eating.
@UnFitz: It's a gaggle of geese, a murder of crows, a pod of whales and a thrift store of hipsters.
@UnFitz: Happiness is a warm puppy.
The opposite of happiness is a warm public toilet seat.
@UnFitz: I'm a people person.
Mmmf. Sorry, my mouth was full. Let me try again.
I'm a pizza person.
@UnFitz: “Every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp-dressed man” he hummed to himself while ironing his sleeveless tuxedo T-shirt.
@UnFitz: In the beginning there was darkness.
Because my dad had gone around shutting off every light in the world to save energy.
@UnFitz: Batgirl: I have a riddle for you, Riddler.
B: Notice anything different about me?
R: *jumps to his death from 46th-floor window*