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@UncleDuke1969 : the day my uncle Dan played his final game of “I got your nose”
@UncleDuke1969: “It’s-a me... Where’s-a Thanos?”
@UncleDuke1969: Grind me like corn, so I know it's meal.
@UncleDuke1969: “The Mothership has returned. Gather your things and inform the others.”
@UncleDuke1969: "So, what's the plan?”
“You walk up and do your whole ‘rawr rawr’ shtick, and I’ll sneak around and grab their sammiches.”
@UncleDuke1969: WIFE: We want to renew our vows.
ME: *hands priest paper*
WIFE: We wrote them ourselves.
PRIEST: *pointing* What’s this word?
@UncleDuke1969: I was wondering how they got the sign to just float in midair like that. Now it makes sense.
@UncleDuke1969: The 'theme' of every theme park is the need for more effective birth control.
@UncleDuke1969: *screams "I don't speak Mandarin!!!"
*the oranges finally shut up
@UncleDuke1969: "I took care of your clown problem."