@VeryLonelyLuke: Rey: I want to be your Jedi student.
Me: Did you hear what happened to all my other Jedi students?
Me: Good. Let's get started.
@VeryLonelyLuke: Me: If you want to be a Jedi, you have to follow strict rules.
Rey: Like what?
Me: Don't hook up with anyone. They might be related.
@VeryLonelyLuke: Only 2 kids made it out of my Jedi class.
One killed the padawans.
The other was abandoned in the desert
I'm dreading that class reunion.
@VeryLonelyLuke: I ordered a pizza.
I don't think the guy understood how to get here.
Is it free if it's 5 years late?
@VeryLonelyLuke: I laughed at Yoda for hiding in a swamp
Then again, he's the only Jedi to ever die from old age
Maybe he knew what he was doing after all.
@VeryLonelyLuke: I'm good at making friends.
Wait, that's not right.
Correction: I'm good at making friends up.
@VeryLonelyLuke: I adopted a rock.
He just sits there and does nothing all day.
It still beats raising Kylo.
@VeryLonelyLuke: I've been yelling for years.
Now I'm convinced.
I'm definitely the only one here playing Marco Polo.
@VeryLonelyLuke: I got mad at a rock today.
I chopped it in half with my lightsaber.
Now there are two rocks.
Send help. Now.