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Page of VeryLonelyLuke's best tweets

@VeryLonelyLuke : Me: You must train hard to beat Kylo Ren. Rey: I already beat him once with literally no training. Me: Rey: Look. I still have two hands.

@VeryLonelyLuke: Rey: I want to be your Jedi student.

Me: Did you hear what happened to all my other Jedi students?

Rey: No.

Me: Good. Let's get started.

@VeryLonelyLuke: Me: If you want to be a Jedi, you have to follow strict rules.

Rey: Like what?

Me: Don't hook up with anyone. They might be related.

@VeryLonelyLuke: Only 2 kids made it out of my Jedi class.

One killed the padawans.

The other was abandoned in the desert

I'm dreading that class reunion.

@VeryLonelyLuke: I ordered a pizza.

I don't think the guy understood how to get here.

Is it free if it's 5 years late?

@VeryLonelyLuke: I laughed at Yoda for hiding in a swamp

Then again, he's the only Jedi to ever die from old age

Maybe he knew what he was doing after all.

@VeryLonelyLuke: I'm good at making friends.

Wait, that's not right.

Correction: I'm good at making friends up.

@VeryLonelyLuke: I adopted a rock.

He just sits there and does nothing all day.

It still beats raising Kylo.

@VeryLonelyLuke: I've been yelling for years.

Now I'm convinced.

I'm definitely the only one here playing Marco Polo.

@VeryLonelyLuke: I got mad at a rock today.

I chopped it in half with my lightsaber.

Now there are two rocks.

Send help. Now.