Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Wakenbake77's best tweets

@Wakenbake77 : I hate when I'm beating my grandma in Mario Kart and she kicks the controller out my hands.

@Wakenbake77: Nice beard bro looks like you just ate a bunch of lollipops then made out with your cat

@Wakenbake77: I'm not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn't looking, I can turn water into Sprite.

@Wakenbake77: if you come trick or treating at my house you will leave with less candy than what you had

@Wakenbake77: Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there's a cop hiding in the bushes

@Wakenbake77: If you find a fry on the floor and you don't share it with me, we can't be friends. Don't touch me. Monster.

@Wakenbake77: I'm gonna be so pissed if I die in the middle of an argument I'm about to win.

@Wakenbake77: Accidentally walked into the women's bathroom, went ahead and peed sitting down so it wouldn't be awkward for anyone.