Funny Tweeter

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Page of WhaJoTalkinBout's best tweets

@WhaJoTalkinBout : [taking out trash] Me: Hey, I'm Jo. I live over there Neighbor: Yes, you say that every week. M: I'm sorry, I'm high af N: You say that, too

@WhaJoTalkinBout: For a dude who just shot a man in the head, the guy from Bohemian Rhapsody seems quite sanctimonious about getting spit on.

@WhaJoTalkinBout: [Petco]

INTERVIEWER: We're looking for a real fish person.

ME: Like a mermaid?

INTERVIEWER:

@WhaJoTalkinBout: Doctor: Do you smoke?
Me:
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D: tobacco
Me: No.

@WhaJoTalkinBout: Before I play it, I hold the needle from the record and whisper 3..2..1.
It's the vinyl countdown.

@WhaJoTalkinBout: Wearing shirts of bands you don't listen to is like refusing to eat the cupcake, but cool walking around with frosting all over your face.

@WhaJoTalkinBout: [text]
Hub: I have to go to the doctor.
Me: Is it your eyes?
Hub: Yes!
Me: Is your vision blurry?
Hub: Yes!!
Me: You're wearing my contacts.

@WhaJoTalkinBout: Deli counter guy told me bad things happen in 3's after he dropped his phone and bumped his head, so I complained about him to management.

@WhaJoTalkinBout: 4: *hops in my lap* Mama, look at my picture!
Me: Love it
4: See green
M: Yep
4: And blue
M: Mmhm
4: And red
M: *flushes toilet* ok, hop up.

@WhaJoTalkinBout: Me: Do you want to meet your sisters at the bus stop?
5: *doesn't look up* I already know them.