me: may I clear your plates?
me: *sits down to finish their fries*
@WhaJoTalkinBout: friend: can you help me plan the baby shower?
me: sure. lather, rinse, repeat.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: [mothers day]
Norman Bates: I got you flowers, Mother.
Norman Bates dressed as her: Oh I love them.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: me: I won two tix in the car on the way home today!
husband: cool, what for?
me: Speeding and Failure To Maintain A Lane.
Neighbor: do you smell something outside?
Me: it's the horses.
Neighbor: it smells like marijuana.
Me: they're high. high horses.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: [I dont get invited to a party]
[I get invited to a party]
@WhaJoTalkinBout: *yells up to treehouse*
me: what are you girls doin?
them: *yells back* chattin and braidin!
me: *climbing up* WAIT ARE THOSE BOY'S NAMES, I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE