Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Where__wolf's best tweets

@Where__wolf : grandma what big eyes u have The better to see u with my dear What big ears u have Well thats kinda rude What big teeth u have Ur grounded

@Where__wolf: "Want me to help you with that tux?"
"No"
"Ok, suit yourself"

@Where__wolf: This looks like a job for Superman!
-unemployed Superman reading the classifieds

@Where__wolf: A horse covered in floaties gallops happily toward a swimmin pool.
He sees a sign "NO HORSEPLAY"
He lowers his head
"Ok"
& sadly trots away

@Where__wolf: You guys have been the worst hostages I've ever used, hands down.
*everyone lowers their hands*
GODDAMN IT!!

@Where__wolf: "Dad Is that a killer whale?"
"No son thats an orca"
"Oh. Well what's a killer whale?"
"U see that whale that's covered n tats & smokin weed

@Where__wolf: *covers kids eyes*
"Hey Billy, guess who?"
"Dad!"
"Nope"
"I knw its u dad. I know ur voice"
"Its not ur dad"
"Stop jking"
"Ur adopted"