@YeahDrewisOn: Me: Damn girl your new selfie is awesome but isn't it a bit late to zombiefy yourself?
Her: What's zombiefy?
Me: ...Your hair looks great!
@YeahDrewisOn: I've learned there are two types of people in this world:
People I trust to help me bury bodies...
@YeahDrewisOn: My girlfriend is:
- super sweet
- light as a feather
- melts in my mouth when I eat her
- always at a circus
- possibly cotton candy
@YeahDrewisOn: Her: I can't believe you slept with her!
Me: WE WERE ON A BREAK!
Her: I just went to the store to buy bread!
Me: Longest six minutes ever
@YeahDrewisOn: Sure he's handsome, funny, smart, charming and successful, but can he fit 54 M&M's in his mouth at once?
I didn' fink fo