Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of YourAnMoron's best tweets

@YourAnMoron : People that steal babies have obviously never owned a baby before.

@YourAnMoron: I accidentally just laughed at something my 4-year-old did so now I have to pretend to laugh as she does it forty thousand more times.

@YourAnMoron: You'd think a dude named Captain Crunch would have amazing abs.

@YourAnMoron: Me "I love you."
My 3yo "Thanks."

And just like that, 4 years of High School memories came flooding back.

@YourAnMoron: It's pretty impressive that Beethoven could play the piano considering he was a St. Bernard.

@YourAnMoron: Judge "Why are you divorcing her?"

Me "She changed the station during Bohemian Rhapsody."

J "You get half her stuff."

*air guitar solo*

@YourAnMoron: Sorry you stood next to me at the urinal in sandals, bro.
What did we learn?

@YourAnMoron: The gas station air pump costs a dollar because air doesn't grow on trees.