Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ZackBornstein's best tweets

@ZackBornstein : First Obama came for my guns. Then he came for my knives. Then he came for my dinette set. Then he redecorated the whole place. It's lovely.

@ZackBornstein: Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100's of strangers' mouths

@ZackBornstein: I can't remember a time in my life when an update for Acrobat Reader wasn't available.

@ZackBornstein: Doctor: I'm sorry, but your Dad's in a coma.

Teen: Huh?

Doctor: He's in airplane mode now.