Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of _4kidscrazy's best tweets

@_4kidscrazy : Me: *shakes bosses hand* Sorry I'm late to the meeting boss. Boss: No problem, restroom? Me: Yes, and we're out of TP and hand soap again.

@_4kidscrazy: Me: let's try to catch snowflakes on our tongues!
Wife: but we're inside.?.
Me: shhhh, just close your eyes.

@_4kidscrazy: Me: Did you have a shirt on when you said it?
Wife: I was naked, just out of the shower.
Me: And you expected me to remember what you said?

@_4kidscrazy: Me: You know what cures a headache right?
Wife: Tylenol
Me: You know what else cures a headache?
Wife: Advil
Me: You know what else ......

@_4kidscrazy: Birth control??? Here watch my kids for 10 minutes.

@_4kidscrazy: Killed a spider for my wife last night and got laid.
Now every.spider.must.die.