@_Water_Baby: My kids have absolutely forbidden me from getting on Twitter.
So here I am!
@_Water_Baby: I cry way more when I'm angry than when I'm sad. So if you see my tears, look out for my left hook too.
@_Water_Baby: My TC promised me he likes it rough so, of course, I bought him a plane ticket. On United.
@_Water_Baby: I would rather see my husband with another woman in his arms than a hammer in his hand.
@_Water_Baby: *at casino*
When he hands you $100 and asks you to go get chips, do not ask him Doritos or Lays. Get both.
It will leave him speechless.
@_Water_Baby: Scary is handing your car keys to the same kid who unintentionally locked himself in the bathroom that morning.
@_Water_Baby: *Tinkerbell sprinkling pixie dust*
Remember Peter, give me a call if it last longer than 4 hours.