Funny Tweeter

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Page of _davidlucas_'s best tweets

@_davidlucas_ : I enjoy long walks away from co-workers who say "Hey ya gotta watch this 10 minute YouTube video".

@_davidlucas_: The art of conversation, otherwise known as two or more people each awaiting their chance to interrupt.

@_davidlucas_: Thanks to Sesame Street, I grew up thinking that Americans had a particular problem with counting.

@_davidlucas_: *At the ouija board*

Me: Err... mom? Can't we just...

Ouija board: A-N-D A-N-O-T-H-E-R T-H-I-N-G

@_davidlucas_: *Stands guard with scissors and tinsel*

Wait, you said "wrap battle", right?

@_davidlucas_: Calm down, Windows Update. I'll restart my computer during work time.

@_davidlucas_: Quoting famous dead people on the internet is stupid.

~Confucius

@_davidlucas_: An egg with 28 followers says I'm not funny. So if you need me, I'll just be in the kitchen making an omelette.