Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of aidanjsears's best tweets

@aidanjsears : ALEX TREBEK: it says here that you are on jeopardy ME: correct AT: this can't be your fun fact ME: *whispers* i don't have anything else ok

@aidanjsears: ME: i'm nervous
WIFE: don't be. just be confident
[later]
BOSS: so do you think you'd be right for the job
ME: *confidently* no

@aidanjsears: *sees a car with a "how am i driving" bumper sticker*
*calls the phone number*
ME: buddy i think it's with a steering wheel

@aidanjsears: [my funeral]
PRIEST: dearly beloved...
*respectful silence from guests*
PRIEST: ...and steve
ME FROM INSIDE COFFIN: lmao get roasted steve

@aidanjsears: INTERVIEWER: so what makes you qualified to work at comcast
ME: *shows up four hours later*
INTERVIEWER: you're hired