@anerdonfire2: Fun fact:
Wiping your nose on the person's shoulder during a hug discourages future hugs.
@anerdonfire2: I'm sorry I ate your food but you just kept taking pics of it instead of eating it.
@anerdonfire2: As my mom finishes up cutting up my steak for me, I can't help but notice that my date looks upset.
@anerdonfire2: I hate to brag but I've had numerous women fake their own death to get out of a relationship with me.
@anerdonfire2: Don't flatter yourself lady, I wasn't winking at you. I was winking at that biscuit you're eating.
@anerdonfire2: As we start gaining speed in the bobsled, I realize it was a mistake to bullshit my way into this.
@anerdonfire2: In my defense, I didn't realize it was a funeral procession when I started flipping people off for going so slow.