@aveuaskew: My neighbors have been calling for their cat for 15 minutes. I've been meowing out the window for 30.
@aveuaskew: Are you okay?
Did you take your cold medicine?
Why are you so nervous?
I never thought throw pillows would ask so many questions
@aveuaskew: Installing home security cameras seemed like a great idea but explaining my dance offs with the dog was something I should've considered.
@aveuaskew: "Your resume has MPGMA listed under hobbies. What exactly is that?"
Making people guess the meaning of acronyms.
@aveuaskew: Tell me I'm beautiful
Tell me I'm a genius
"You're a genius"
"Just give me the toilet paper, please"
@aveuaskew: People fear what they don't understand:
4th grade math word problems
@aveuaskew: I could tell by the scowl on her face that her patience and botox were wearing thin.
@aveuaskew: "You always overreact and make things dramatic. It's really annoying."
*raises megaphone to lips*