Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of badAzz_mom's best tweets

@badAzz_mom : I have 2 moods: NAMASTE & NAMASTAB

@badAzz_mom: Don't make eye contact
Don't make eye contact
Don't make eye contact

"Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?"

SURE!

...bringing the total amount of cookies to 348

@badAzz_mom: Sorry to the guy in the car having to witness me checking for boogers in his tinted windows.

@badAzz_mom: *pulls all the hair out of my brush and places it all over my dog*

@badAzz_mom: If you ever want your kids to communicate with you, just make sure you're talking to someone else on the phone.

@badAzz_mom: So he says " Nice glasses" and I say " Thanks! They're for seeing "

*slaps knee*

@badAzz_mom: You're not allowed to say "long story short" after talking for 30 minutes.

@badAzz_mom: People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.