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@bazlyons : I always hold open doors and let ladies through first because, you know, snipers.
@bazlyons: Turns out when you're asked who your favourite child is you're expected to pick from your own.
@bazlyons: 'Always the bridesmaid, never the bride' is good advice for any best man.
@bazlyons: They say punching a shark is an effective way to prevent a shark attack but my preference would still be 'land'
@bazlyons: [strip to the waist for my fight club debut]
Opponent: "dude they meant the top half" *walks away*
[I claim victory and retire undefeated]