@beefman138: The plot thickens.
Mostly because my grave digger had no idea just how fat I was.
@beefman138: "I am the God of mischief in Norse mythology, but I don't want too many people knowing about it".
- Low key.
@beefman138: [At my front door, speaking to a detective in my robe]
Me : Can I have my robe back, please?
@beefman138: Wife : A jogger was murdered in the park last night.
Me : Well that's all the motivation I need. *Goes for a jog in the park*
@beefman138: I hate it when my Wife says that we need to talk.
It's always "What's wrong with you?" and never about sports, beer or bikini models.
@beefman138: *Wife busts me installing locks on man-cave door*
Wife : Great idea! That will keep the kids out!
Me : Uh... yeah. The kids.
@beefman138: I'd congratulate you on the birth of your first child, but I have 2 of my own so here's a sympathy card and a case of wine.
@beefman138: [Logging in]
• Password must be 6 digits
Me : *Types "6 digits"*
Computer : You are an imbecile.