Funny Tweeter

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Page of bobbiejo448's best tweets

@bobbiejo448 : Dora could get to her destination in half the time if Swiper were in prison where he belongs.

@bobbiejo448: 5yo: I can't wear those socks today. They say Wednesday. Me: If anyone notices, tell them you're here from the future to save the world.

@bobbiejo448: This Xanax script says I should take one daily as needed but I'm pretty sure they meant per child so, including the dogs, that makes five.

@bobbiejo448: News reports 5hr Energy may be linked to death. Don't know if it's an advertising gimmick or not but I bought a bunch to gift, just in case.

@bobbiejo448: I don't want to tell you how to run your company, Hostess, but liquidating just as weed becomes legal seems like a bad business decision.

@bobbiejo448: Someone please tell my mother she won't get a free iPod by clicking the links. She's convinced I just don't want to show her how to use it.

@bobbiejo448: "That's Superman, that's Batman, and that's Cyborg. If you won't call them by their names, I can't play with you anymore." - me to my 5yo.

@bobbiejo448: Every time I use <3 in an @ to someone, I can't help but think, "Please accept this carrot with balls as a token of how much I heart you."

@bobbiejo448: I love how all the characters in kids shows are always SO thrilled while at work. Like Bob never gets pissed over a missing screwdriver.

@bobbiejo448: Marijuana does have an adverse effect on my spelling skills. It's to the point that Google even knows when I'm high.