@canadasandra: the host of the party told me to make myself comfortable so I went back home to bed
@canadasandra: When you think about it, the little old man behind the curtain in Oz was the original catfish.
@canadasandra: [getting a massage]
Me: I have tension in my lower back.
Th: But that's your a-
@canadasandra: When attempting to make a good first impression imagine how important good grammar is. Wrong. Importanter.
@canadasandra: Wanna know what it's like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.
@canadasandra: in hell your cat can talk and he openly judges you for everything he saw you doing when you were home alone