@causticbob: mountain lion attacks are on the rise. especially in california. be prepared!
@causticbob: Mark Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter.
He runs Facebook.
@causticbob: If you go to jail for tax evasion, you are living off taxes for not paying taxes.
@causticbob: Burglars broke into Kanye West's home. As a result, 500 statues of Kanye West are missing.
@causticbob: Why does Batman wear a mask?
Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis.
@causticbob: "Wanna hear a joke?"
"What's the difference between a toilet and a fridge?"
"I don't know,"