Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of chrisdowning's best tweets

@chrisdowning : Coffee will wake you up, but have you ever tried falling down a flight of stairs?

@chrisdowning: The coconut is very versatile. It can be eaten or be used to make a radio.

@chrisdowning: Between toilet paper and forest fires, bears have a lot of responsibilities.

@chrisdowning: Sorry I’m late, I was watching ghost adventures and they heard a noise.

@chrisdowning: Psychic: I’m also a medium.
Me: I’m a large or extra large depending on the brand.

@chrisdowning: They invented ceiling fans after a bunch of people got their legs cut off by floor fans.

@chrisdowning: Sunflower seeds: For when you want to have a snack while pretending you’re a cockatiel.

@chrisdowning: Anyone mad about favstar shutting down can mail me $30, and I’ll tell your friend you like their tweet.

@chrisdowning: The most high pressure life situation is doing math in front of someone.