@chuuew: ME: [standing in the rain]
STRANGER: [taps me on the shoulder] Here's an umbrella
ME: Yes. I've seen one before.
@chuuew: I tell people "I'm not looking for anything serious" because I'm hunting clowns.
@chuuew: TEACHER: Have you got anything for today's palindrome class?
STUDENT: dammit I'm mad
TEACHER: OK, OK, I'll ask someone else
@chuuew: ME: Hi, I've got my hearing test today
LAWYER: I keep telling you it's not a test
@chuuew: [emergency room]
NURSE: It seems you've swallowed an abacus?
ME: She told me it's what's on the inside that counts
WIFE: I hate you
@chuuew: [Dinner with family of Owls]
ME: Want me to say grace?
DAD OWL: No. We don't do that
M: I thought you were-
D.O: Pls don't
M: birds of pray?