@chuuew: ME: [unbuttoning shirt] There's only one way to settle this. Dance off!
CUSTODY ATTORNEY: No
@chuuew: [creation of snakes]
GOD: What happened here?
ANGEL: You said make them armless...
SNAKE: YOU IDIOTS!
@chuuew: N V B K I T H E K L O P F
I N V E N T O R Z S F O F
T H E E F G H J I O L P L
Y Q W O R D S E A R C H
H A S J P O D I E D G W
@chuuew: ME: sorry boss, can't come in today. i'm sick as a dog.
DOG: [heelys passed - smoking a pipe] you wish, bro
@chuuew: Still finding Easter eggs hidden around the house which is especially scary considering I live alone.
@chuuew: 8y/o: What's sex?
ME: [slightly uncomfortable] Umm. Well, what it is, umm-
8y/o: [to friend] Told ya he wouldn't know. Pay up