Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of clarkekant's best tweets

@clarkekant : I wish everyone would stop vaccinating their children. It’s really cutting down these lines at Disneyland!

@clarkekant: Obama says he’s pro-vaccine, GOP comes out against it. Now Obama needs to express his support for breathing.

@clarkekant: If women do the splits, do men do the banana splits?

@clarkekant: One of the hardest parts of being a parent is discovering your 6 year old is better than you at every video game ever.

@clarkekant: At some point in time, the brain named itself. You think it would have gone with something a little better, like Bernard.

@clarkekant: ISIS, meet ebola. Ebola, meet ISIS. Problem solved.

@clarkekant: My electric toothbrush ran out of batteries so I had to brush with my acoustic.

@clarkekant: I can't stand it when people don't know the difference between your and you're. There so stupid.

@clarkekant: Ask your doctor if an unnecessary over-prescribed medication so he can get kickbacks from a pharmaceutical company is right for you.

@clarkekant: It would make more sense to put a teacher in every gun shop.