Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of clindsaysway's best tweets

@clindsaysway : Mirror, mirror on the wall... Mirror: I said no.

@clindsaysway: Interviewer: What is your greatest weak...

Me: NO PATIENCE.

@clindsaysway: A fun game is to put on an orange vest and direct traffic.

@clindsaysway: It would be magical for babies and toddlers to fly with animals. In that part of the plane.

@clindsaysway: Grandma used the same wrapping paper for 25 years, so don't tell me about the great 'bargain' you found.

@clindsaysway: Senator Clinton, what will you do now?

Hillary: Divorce Bill.

@clindsaysway: Heard Santa and his wife separated, which would make them independent Clauses.

@clindsaysway: *helping son with math problem*

[hour later]

JUST WRITE 75 GODDAMMIT!