Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of copymama's best tweets

@copymama : Driving tests should have a portion where a kid in the backseat just pummels you with rapid-fire questions while you try to merge.

@copymama: I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

@copymama: Please don’t distract me, I’ve been asked to guard my daughter’s shell collection while she’s in the water.

@copymama: When I want my husband to cut the grass I give him a mowtivational speech.

@copymama: My daughters built this elaborate house setup for their dolls, so I went over and threw a bunch of trash in each room to make it more realistic.

@copymama: [My 8yo looking for something]

OMG WHERE IS IT IT’S GONE FOREVER WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT I’LL NEVER FIND IT WHERE COULD IT BE MY LIFE IS RUINED WHYYYYYYY—oh, here it is.

@copymama: Confession: I’ve said “Can’t wait!” about things I actually could wait for.

@copymama: Day new couch arrives: No more food or drinks on the couch, I'm serious!
1 week later: *Kids are eating pancakes directly off the cushions*

@copymama: Become a parent to discover how angrily you can serve someone crackers.

@copymama: Wanna know what it’s like to have kids? Picture one of those automatic ball-pitching machines, but instead of balls, it’s questions. And it never shuts off.