Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of copymama's best tweets

@copymama : Become a parent to discover how angrily you can serve someone crackers.

@copymama: Wanna know what it’s like to have kids? Picture one of those automatic ball-pitching machines, but instead of balls, it’s questions. And it never shuts off.

@copymama: My 5yo was talking incessantly in the car and my husband turned the music way up to drown her out and I fell in love all over again.

@copymama: My 8yo just reasoned that I should clean up the mess from her craft project because I was the one who suggested she do the craft project.

Laziness level: expert.

@copymama: My husband’s parenting style is to menacingly say “Yeah!” after everything I say when I reprimand the kids.

@copymama: My 4yo picked up a toy and put it away without being asked, and I just stared at her like she was a woodland animal I didn't want to scare.

@copymama: After days stranded at sea on the edge of starvation, my 4yo is rescued & given bread:

“This has seeds on it,” she scoffs, pushing it away.

@copymama: Me: Bedtime in 5 minutes!
8yo: *Begins the single most complicated crafting project of her lifetime thus far*

@copymama: My 4yo just asked me if I was there when we went to Disney 6 weeks ago for 5 days, so I’m obviously making a huge impact in her life.

@copymama: Parenting is filled with wonder. Like wondering why your 4yo raced into the kitchen and quietly grabbed a handful of napkins.