Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of copymama's best tweets

@copymama : Me: Bedtime in 5 minutes! 8yo: *Begins the single most complicated crafting project of her lifetime thus far*

@copymama: My 4yo just asked me if I was there when we went to Disney 6 weeks ago for 5 days, so I’m obviously making a huge impact in her life.

@copymama: Parenting is filled with wonder. Like wondering why your 4yo raced into the kitchen and quietly grabbed a handful of napkins.

@copymama: Fact: Moms yelling out "careful!" have saved 3.6 million lives so far this year.

@copymama: Hey, sexy. Wanna merge our DNA and make mini versions of ourselves who will never give us a moment’s peace and destroy all our stuff?

@copymama: *Starts cutting the chicken of the person next to me at a dinner party out of habit*

@copymama: Starting to miss the kids after 5 days at grandma’s, so I wistfully dumped a bin of toys on the floor and sprinkled crumbs on the couch.

@copymama: You: Artfully arranges flowers in vase so the room looks nice
Me: Artfully arranges garbage in trash so the kids don't see what I threw out

@copymama: My 7yo said if she ever gets married she wants to have a pajama-themed wedding, and I feel like my parenting has come to fruition.

@copymama: Parenting is like being a dive bartender: people shout drink orders, you have to listen to their problems, and the place looks like a dump.