@cravin4: I made my son a grilled cheese with three pieces of cheese and he said that's too much cheese.
Now my wife is mad at ME for ordering a DNA test.
@cravin4: I think I overdosed on comfort food last night....
That makes 7,427 days in a row.
@cravin4: Two things I learned this weekend are:
1. I'm not too old to get in a hammock.
2. I'm too old to get out of a hammock.
@cravin4: Good morning to everyone except the people who prefer the taste of margarine over butter.
@cravin4: Hey babe, you look hungry. I have a meal for you in my shorts.
*whips out five course meal from my cargo shorts with still frozen dippin dots for dessert*
@cravin4: I started this new workout that helps protect my abs and obliques by rubbing grilled cheese sandwiches on them from the inside then my body puts a protective layer around them on the outside.
@cravin4: I once had sex while drinking a beer and didn't spill a drop.
I only wish there was someone else there to witness it.
@cravin4: When you just stick the tip in and then move it around and around.
- Hand held pencil sharpener
@cravin4: To inspire all the wonderful women of Twitter I'm sending you all good vibes today. Tomorrow I will ship the batteries.