Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of cravin4's best tweets

@cravin4 : Sorry Taco Bell, but I came up with the Naked Chicken Chalupa before you did. Well actually Ambien did & I'm still banned from Taco Bell.

@cravin4: If you can see the bread you are not using butter correctly.

@cravin4: Eight out of ten married people agree that on your wedding day it’s bad luck to say “i Do.”

@cravin4: First rule of Crocs club is no women allowed.

Women: You didn't need that rule.

@cravin4: After 21 years of marriage I thought it would be funny on National Joke Day to tell my wife I wanted to have more kids. She said "ME TOO!"

Now what do I do?

@cravin4: My wife says I can't be a Twitter Dom until I finish my chores.

@cravin4: Do they charge extra if you want to get a tattoo of an avocado?

@cravin4: It's fine that my wife plans beach vacations every year around Shark Week but only referring to me as "chum" while we're there is a bit much.

@cravin4: I'm a creative speller thus no typos, just art.

@cravin4: I made my son a grilled cheese with three pieces of cheese and he said that's too much cheese.

Now my wife is mad at ME for ordering a DNA test.