@cravin4: Eight out of ten married people agree that on your wedding day it’s bad luck to say “i Do.”
@cravin4: First rule of Crocs club is no women allowed.
Women: You didn't need that rule.
@cravin4: After 21 years of marriage I thought it would be funny on National Joke Day to tell my wife I wanted to have more kids. She said "ME TOO!"
Now what do I do?
@cravin4: It's fine that my wife plans beach vacations every year around Shark Week but only referring to me as "chum" while we're there is a bit much.
@cravin4: I made my son a grilled cheese with three pieces of cheese and he said that's too much cheese.
Now my wife is mad at ME for ordering a DNA test.