Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of crunchenhanced's best tweets

@crunchenhanced : Eating fried cheese is the closest i've gotten to doing heroin.

@crunchenhanced: I’m going to be embalmed the old-fashioned way.

Bourbon.

@crunchenhanced: Fun tip:

Go to carnivals, scatter nuts and bolts around rides to cut down on wait times.

*thumbs up*

@crunchenhanced: Little known fact:

Centipede’s are the Metric version of Inchworms.

@crunchenhanced: The fastest way to teach a kid to ride a bike is to strap their feet to the pedals and chase them with broccoli.

@crunchenhanced: Has anyone else noticed that since the invention of the smart phone, bathroom stall graffiti was moved to Twitter?

@crunchenhanced: It makes me feel sick that i come from such a long line of hypochondriacs.

@crunchenhanced: If you say "cray cray" I'm going to punch you in the "fay fay",