@crunchenhanced: Fun tip:
Go to carnivals, scatter nuts and bolts around rides to cut down on wait times.
@crunchenhanced: The fastest way to teach a kid to ride a bike is to strap their feet to the pedals and chase them with broccoli.
@crunchenhanced: Has anyone else noticed that since the invention of the smart phone, bathroom stall graffiti was moved to Twitter?
@crunchenhanced: It makes me feel sick that i come from such a long line of hypochondriacs.
@crunchenhanced: [ In bed, trying to find a cold spot ]
Ahhhh, there it is...
Wife: Get off of me!!